I find myself, all of a sudden,
thrown head-first, without any warning,
into a place, strange yet familiar,
I thought I knew, that smell and color,
I've seen it so, in him and her,
in it and it, in this and that,
in thee and thou, in dogs and cats,
in me and mig, in du and they,
I thought I knew, and yet I say,
I dunno how, I dunno when
Why all of a sudden, I'm a grown man!
There was no crevice, no bridge to cross,
no exams to pass, no medal to toss,
and yet here I am, standing tall,
so high up, so much more to fall.
Just a moment ago, I was there,
down below, without a care,
I didn't have worries, I didn't have to,
I wasn't an adult, now I am too!
When did this happen?
Why wasn't I told?
Shouldn't I be notified, it's my life u know!
I dun wan the extras, you can take em back,
I like how things were, but the facade was cracked.
They're oozing out, the responsibilities and stress
of being an adult, you can hear that loud bass
of finance and health, of careers and friends
of relationships and families, our lives in a can
A very tiny can, one you can look into
not one feet away, measure it with a rule
Played out across, not a white wall
one stained with grey, and a whole lot more
An incandescence display, that's what we thought
Not quite one, but still a rowdy lot
There's an occasional nova, maybe one or two
but the rest are just monotonous, orbiting fro and to
And so I ask, just when did I grow up
when was I a kid, and then no longer a pup?
when did I cross that line, and enter this covenant
I whispered no secret code, nor gained extra wisdom
but then here I am, bright as day,
like a fool, in my place,
brighteyed doe, sun shines so,
bless my lord! Show some grace!
Never mind, I seldom pray
If I do, and you do too,
then we must be, quite certainly
in some shit, pretty deep
probably knee high, tear and weep.
So once again, here I am
at the brink, I'm so ashamed
I didn't know, when I'd arrived
But arrived I have, and not in bad shape.
We'll have to make do, do-dee-duh-do,
and then just maybe, we'll grow small too
Our bodies may grow, and old we go,
but our hearts are different, that much I know.
I'll keep them young, I'll keep em safe,
I'll keep them in, a very special place.
I'll keep em in, some good company,
ones I know, I trust completely.
And so we grow old, and enter the forbidden
I'll remain a kid, you can follow if you want
Dun mind the detractors, they like to laugh and tease
saying I'm childish, what do they know, geez!
You can be, all the adult you wan,
I've seen enough, to last me a lifetime,
so why bother, being one isn't fun,
I'll just make up, songs and rhymes
and a little of this, a little of that,
I'll be happy, and you can suck that.
MY BACK AND THIGHS ARE KILLING ME.
MY BACK AND THIGHS ARE KILLING ME.
MY BACK AND THIGHS ARE KILLING ME.
MY BACK AND THIGHS ARE KILLING ME.
MY BACK AND THIGHS ARE KILLING ME.
Brunch: Home-made grilled pepper salad with pan-fried chicken breast meat (and jap cucumbers and tomatoes and lettuce and apples and sesame seeds and lemon and molasses sugar and olive oil and salt and pepper) o.O + 2 eggs
Snacks: One cup of cereal with milk. 2 slices of cheese.
Dinner: Same salad as above, since I made a tupperware full of it. One cup of cereal again cos I wasn't full.
Exercise: 3km jog.
Verdict: I tink I read sumwhere saying capsicums are a good source of carbo as well, so even tho I didn't really eat a lot of carbo today (ran out of bread), I tink I'm still good. Let's give this a try for a month. Eat less but spread it out more often. Then try to at least gym one day, jog on the next.
But then I no have functioning weighing scale.
WHY I NO HAVE FUNCTIONING WEIGHING SCALE?!!!!
Ohhhh.....and I just realized one of the earliest tumblrs I was following belongs to Daryl Pan....
o.O
NOVEMBER=SWEETIE ♥
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck.. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck.. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
Tis is wad I read on tumblr, a post regarding the month you were born in and apparently, your characteristics.
I went from -_- to o.O in 5 seconds.
I mean, it's obviously not 100% accurate, especially if you consider that the post was meant to target ALL November babies... But then, it's too damn close. At least in my case.
Nex time someone else asks me to introduce myself, I'll just point them to this post.
Interested to know what the other months are like...? Just holler and I'll post em, if not it'll save me the effort.
ps: It rained super hard today, and as I had a super laosy night's worth of sleep ytd, I just switched on my fav grooveshark playlist and snuggled in bed, dreaming of ytd, today and tmr. I love rainy days.
A dear friend's grandfather just passed away. On the day that her grandfather was supposed to chu bin, her mum was admitted to the hospital due to some health complications, and she passed away yesterday night.
I am at a loss all of a sudden as to what to say and do for her. I dun even have the courage to call, as in such situations, I am really bad at knowing what to say. I simply cannot imagine having to go through the same situation, especially when everything happened so suddenly. I texted her, and hoped that she received it.
I wasn't even aware that her grandfather passed away. Sometimes I wonder what kind of a friend I really am.
Life can be a real bitch. But it's all we got, isn't it...?
我真心希望你一切都安好。也希望你一切都能看得开。我知道用嘴说说很简单，但我也真的不知道还能说什么。时间会冲淡一切。你身边还有我们这一班朋友，不要忘了。坚强点。
Haha I must be turning gay like Arvin said, but this boy is crazily cute. He's from Sweden, and he's deaf. But he's enjoying his life. Maybe I should start to learn how to enjoy mine. I am already so much more fortunate than so many others in the world.
Jamie Woon ~ Missing Person
所以呢，就干脆把那些书名都先写再这，免得以后忘了。
Mervyn Peake ~ The Gormenghast Trilogy
台湾女生瑞典乐活
奥运不买票-我在雅典当义工的日子
On Island Time
在天涯的尽头 A Story of Unlearning
星野道夫 ~ 在漫长的旅途中
包益民 ~ 天下没有怀才不遇这回事
御我 ~ 一分之二王子
Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox
We Need To Talk About Kevin
Anne Rice ~ The Vampire Armand
Neil Gaiman ~ Fragile Things
巴黎型男日记
泪光闪闪
同栖生活
恋空
当中之所以会有英文书是因为中文部里有很多翻译的书。不管是翻英文还是日文或是其它的语文，中文部通通都有。
我觉得当我开始打工后，一大半的薪水，应该会拿来买书吧。
很期待我往后有自己的apartment后，可以在里头大枣属于自己的图书阁。大片的落地窗，地毯，书柜，音乐，还有自己的宠物，就这样度过懒人的一天。
当然，也希望那房间里会做着自己喜欢的人，一起阅读。
这是我小小的一个梦想。
A friend posted this video on FB, that's how I found it.
His voice has an immediate magnetism-feel to it. I couldn't help but rape the replay button.
He's from Britain, but he sorta looks a bit mixed to me. For a moment I thought he might have some Asian blood in him. No idea.
Plenty of regrets in life, in which I fill them up one by one through by endless day-dreams. At least then I don't dwell on them that much during normal times. I'm grateful for my sense of imagination.
Jamie Woon ~ Missing Person
So I finally got my thesis draft done. It's like I'm finally picking myself up. Thesis is looking pretty ok. I know I have the content. The results are all just dependent on my experiments, which can't really go very wrong cos they're pretty straight forward. The only problem now is coming up with "new insight and ideas" which is what my professor is looking for. Basically it's what ALL professors are looking for. But then I really have no idea how to do that, because the "new insight and ideas" I'm supposed to come up with seem to be really really unrelated to civil engineering. More of material science's department. It's about strengthening bamboo as pipes afterall. How is that civil stuff?
On a side note, my first pay from Pageone just came in!
So....we'll see how the experiments continue to proceed tmr, and then maybe someone will keep their eyes open for more part-time jobs to fill in the humongous gap that is the difference btw his bank acc balance and the grad trip expenditure o.O
Once again, NEED.MORE.MONEY
And once again, NEED.TO.LOSE.WEIGHT
Gonna try and eat healthy tis week. Bought groceries. Healthy ones. Let's see how it goes.
谁会喜欢孤独，只是不想勉强交朋友罢了，免得徒生失望。
~ 挪威的森林，村上春树 著 (Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami)
怎么觉得，当我听到这一句话的时候，马上有点似曾相识的感觉。是我这二十四年的人生里，一针见血的一句行事道理吧。
想了一想，其实也不尽然。
我的人生观念，前两句是对了。最后一句，只是起着一点惊醒梦中人的作用吧。
谁会喜欢孤独，只是不想勉强交朋友罢了，免得枉自让他人徒生失望。
我想，这一句，应该比较贴切吧。因该。
打工时无意间发现了这本书，可是我没买，因为不想胡乱的浪费钱，也不知道是否值得花那笔钱。但同时发现，它被翻成电影了。竟然，今天也在funshion 发现了它。偶然吧。
也并没有因为这一句话，让我当下放得下我脑海里所有恼人与不可理喻的思想。但，总觉得它，似乎也帮了那么一点忙。至少，我对我自己这么多年以来，一直不能形容的一个性情，一个习惯，一个生活方式，一个我，现在竟能用短短的一句话，尽速道然。没到豁然开朗。但至少对自己，多了一份了解。
因为我自己看自己，其实还真像一个陌生人。
Could never understood why writing in chinese makes me feel melancholy. Maybe it's because it brings me all the way back to the days when I was still a primary school kid...? My P6 classmate just created an FB group, and everyone's inviting back our old classmates whom they have on FB. So far the tally stands at 36, but we used to have like 45 students in 6M. I dun even rmb most of them anymore. I racked my brain for some form of memory, but most are vague to say the least.
I dun wanna forget those days. One of the few reasons I continuously cling onto my mother tongue.
暂时就到这里吧。明天，应该会是一个不一样的，更美好的明天吧。明天，我的意志力，应该终于会取得胜利吧。
就看明天吧。
As much as I enjoy using tumblr, I still find it more satisfying to actually pen down my thoughts here. Not that you can't do that on tumblr, but I tend to associate it more with pics than words. I seldom post and re-blog stuff on tumblr, because a.) if I wanna post stuff I would prefer it to be sth I did myself, which in turn implies a great deal of effort in picking out pics and finding inspiration and using photoshop or lightroom etc etc, which simply means time and effort that I either do not have or can't be bothered to sacrifice, and b.) I seldom come across sth that made me really REALLY wanna re-blog, and if I do re-blog sth, I have to make sure I re-blog 8 other stuff to make the total number 9 due to the layout of my tumblr.
So I finally got to my thesis today, but not before I slept and slacked and slept most of the day away. I've decided (after some discussion wif frens) that I wun be bothered to write out sth lengthy simply because most professors won't appreciate grandmother stories and they will most probably just zoom in on your results anyway, so no point describing at length the entire project when all they want are the main points.
I'm heading to the States for my grad trip. But I dun have the money.
My lose weight plans are in disarray, so I shall start jogging again soon. Hopefully tomorrow, but since I'll be in the lab the entire day tmr, and I have work on Friday, it will most probably be Saturday that I start jogging again.
When I'm at work I normally skip breakfast and lunch and only take dinner when I get back to hall.
Someone pls curb my spending habits.
I sleep like a pig these days.
Carrie Underwood ~ Mama's Song
I think I'm dragging myself down a one-way road of destruction. Funny how people drive themselves to death on booze and drugs, and I do the same with something as benign-sounding as a heck-care attitude.
I just wanna give up.