I am worried for this paper, just like any other papers I have taken in NUS. But this one in particular, cos I've performed very badly for the CA. And that is entirely my fault. I skipped lessons, skipped a 10% solo presentation, hardly put in any effort for the group project etc... It's probably because tis is my last semester, and so many of us graduating seniors are telling ourselves that we just wanna pass (especially for those who have already secured a job offer). If it was any other semester, I might have still skipped classes, but I would most definitely have done my presentation, and did much better for the group project. But this isn't any other semester. It's my last. Which somehow just brings out the worst in me when in comes to being a student. I wonder why.

So here I am, trying to cram in all the readings in one night. It's a HR module, but the readings would have you thinking you're taking a psychology module instead. And they're so difficult to digest cos they're obviously not written for the layman.

Two essays out of three questions. I'm not worried about writing, But the questions they ask are really difficult to grasp (after looking at the past year papers). The lessons we had did nothing much to reinforce all the different HR concepts involved, and even if it did it wouldn't help me since I am hardly there.

This is just a rant anyway. I dun think I will fail, but I wasn't looking forward to seeing anymore Cs on my transcript. But that seems inevitable given how I've screwed up the 50% part of the CA.

I felt so empty when I woke up from my feverish slumber a while ago. It's like all of a sudden, I realize there's nothing that I'm working towards. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to give me a sense of accomplishment, given how little regard I have for my academic work nowadays. Plus I have constant pain with my body.

It's scary, having nothing to look forward to. No purpose in life. That sense of emptiness woke me up. And it's still lingering.

My current life scares me. A lot.